My boss took it exactly the way I thought he would, so it was more or less expected.

I’m worried about my future.

What would I do with my life? What would I do with my MBA? What’s going to happen next?

When I was young, I had a recurring nightmare.

I dreamt I was an ant. Carrying a huge rock.

Well, it’s kinda coming true right now, ain’t it?

But let’s not rush into things, take one baby step at a time. Going back to my Dad has always been like escaping to a refuge camp. It happens when I’m no longer happy with where I am right now or when I desperately want a change.

Although this time, it is distinctively different. I feel I have so much more to give and so much more to gain.

Seeing how things run in another company has helped me to know what and how I would want to run my own company.

IT systems, work processes, administration, human-relations, etc.

Things I would not have seen, had I started there right from the beginning.

I’m thankful for the experience, for the friendships and for the invaluable lessons I have learnt there.

The risk that I’m taking, which includes, mainly giving up a comfortable salary, having the luxury of 38 (wo)manpower, having my own office, funds to use to buy the latest equipment for the office.

It’s quite a big risk, considering that I have a higher fixed expense now as compared to 3 years ago.

Stepping out of my comfort zone, going into uncharted territories scare the shit out of me.

What if I can’t cope? What if I can’t bring in the business? What if my systems fail? What if I fail?

I’m really worried.

If I fail, I’d be letting down my father.

My mother.

Myself.

The consequences of failing are too great to bear. I don’t even want to think about it.

Right. Should go do my OB report now.

Kthanksbai.

It makes me feel like a fool.

Just this afternoon, at training, I told the girls, look you have the luxury of asking questions. So ask!

But somehow people don’t tell you when you ask. Only after something happens, then everything comes pouring out.

Seriously. What’s the deal?

But then again, I have lots if secrets that I don’t tell. Duh they’re called secrets for a reason.

Although I really hate people keeping things from me. You either keep it from me till the day you die and not let me find out, or you jolly well come clean with me.

Either way, you choose.

Ok that’s all. Kthanksbye.

It’s been so long, I think I forgot my password. Only managed to log in after erm several tries.

How’s 2010 been treating you guys so far?

2009 has just left, traces of it still remains.

I really don’t know what to write here anymore.

I don’t want to recap 2009, nothing spectacular. Plenty of wrong decisions I made.

I’m just happy that I survived it, injured, but pretty much alive.

I thank my friends who have stuck through me through thick and thin. Seriously, without them, I would have died.

I thank my parents, for their harsh words but unconditional love. My mum for sharing, my dad for accomodating.

Really. I’m so grateful.

2010 will be a great year yes?

Yes!

I’ve tendered my resignation, sorry Boss. But my responsibilities as a daughter are greater than as an employee.

I hope I’ve been of help these last 3 years. You’re a great Boss, and I’m sorry I can’t continue on.

I’ll miss all my girls, colleagues, my BFFs, you girls won’t be 4 numbers away anymore. Thinking about leaving you all just makes me sad and teary all over again.

But some people just don’t understand that I’m sad about leaving too.

Oh, and good news within the first week of 2010! I won myself a lucky draw prize! Woohoo!

Plus, I passed EMS! Woohoo! (That’s cause for celebration already!)

That’s an awesome start to the new year, ain’t it?

I don’t have any resolutions this year, I don’t want to break ‘em.

We’ll just see where the roads lead me to..

In the meantime, stay healthy and happy, folks!